Explaining the Role of Differentiation of Self in Predicting Marital Relationship Quality through the Mediating Mechanisms of Ambiguity Tolerance, Emotion Regulation, and Family Boundaries
Keywords:
differentiation of self, marital relationship quality, ambiguity tolerance, emotion regulation, family boundaries, thematic analysisAbstract
Objective: This study aimed to explain married individuals’ lived experiences of how differentiation of self contributes to marital relationship quality through the perceived mediating mechanisms of ambiguity tolerance, emotion regulation, and family boundary-setting.
Methods and Materials: This qualitative study was conducted using thematic analysis. Participants were 24 married individuals living in Tehran, including 12 women and 12 men, selected through purposive sampling with maximum variation in age, length of marriage, education, and employment status. Data were collected through in-depth semi-structured interviews. Interviews continued until theoretical saturation was reached; initial saturation occurred at the twenty-first interview, followed by three confirmatory interviews to ensure thematic stability. Data were analyzed through the six-phase thematic analysis procedure, supported by NVivo software. Trustworthiness was enhanced through member checking, peer debriefing, analytic memo writing, an audit trail, and constant comparison of codes and themes.
Findings: Four main themes were extracted from the interviews: “maintaining selfhood within emotional connection,” “ambiguity tolerance as a cognitive buffer against threatening interpretations,” “emotion regulation as the pathway through which differentiation becomes constructive dialogue,” and “family boundaries as protection of the marital subsystem.” Participants with higher differentiation described marital conflicts less as signs of rejection, failure, or relational collapse and more as manageable differences. They showed greater ability to remain emotionally present, express needs without fusion or withdrawal, tolerate uncertainty, regulate anger and anxiety, and prevent intrusive involvement of families of origin.
Conclusion: The findings suggest that differentiation of self is not merely an intrapsychic trait but a relational capacity that enables spouses to balance intimacy and autonomy. Marital relationship quality appears to improve when partners can tolerate relational ambiguity, regulate negative emotions before they become destructive interactional patterns, and establish clear yet flexible boundaries between the marital relationship and extended family systems.
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