Explaining the Process of Emotional Distance Formation Among Couples With Adolescent Children: Emphasizing Parental Burnout, Role Conflict, and Reduced Couple Dialogue
Keywords:
Emotional distance, parental burnout, role conflict, couple dialogue, adolescent child, Tehran couples, qualitative research.Abstract
Objective: This study aimed to explain the process through which emotional distance develops among couples with adolescent children, with particular attention to parental burnout, conflict between parental and spousal roles, and the decline of couple dialogue.
Methods and Materials: This qualitative study was conducted using an inductive thematic analysis approach. Participants included 24 married parents residing in Tehran who had at least one adolescent child aged 13 to 18 years. Purposeful sampling with maximum variation was used to recruit participants with diverse characteristics in terms of gender, age, duration of marriage, education, employment status, and family structure. Data were collected exclusively through semi-structured interviews. Interviews continued until theoretical saturation was reached; saturation was achieved at the twenty-first interview, and three additional interviews were conducted to ensure data sufficiency. All interviews were transcribed verbatim and analyzed using NVivo software through open, axial, and selective coding procedures. Credibility and trustworthiness were enhanced through member checking, peer debriefing, analytic memo writing, and maintaining an audit trail.
Findings: Data analysis resulted in five main categories: “accumulation of parental burnout and depletion of emotional capacity,” “dominance of the parental role over the spousal role,” “reduction of couple dialogue and transformation of communication into task management,” “cycle of resentment, withdrawal, and protective silence,” and “stabilization of emotional distance through duty-oriented coexistence.” Findings indicated that emotional distance does not emerge suddenly; rather, it develops gradually through repeated experiences of parental exhaustion, role conflict, diminished emotional conversation, unrecognized spousal needs, and increasingly cold and problem-focused interactions.
Conclusion: The findings suggest that couples with adolescent children may experience gradual erosion of emotional intimacy when parenting pressures, educational concerns, economic responsibilities, and family role demands restrict opportunities for couple dialogue and emotional connection. Couple-based interventions for this population should move beyond conflict resolution and focus on restoring emotional dialogue, redefining boundaries between parental and spousal roles, reducing parental burnout, and strengthening supportive coparenting patterns.
Downloads
References
Belsky, J. (1984). The determinants of parenting: A process model. Child Development, 55(1), 83–96. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8624.1984.tb00275.x
Braun, V., & Clarke, V. (2006). Using thematic analysis in psychology. Qualitative Research in Psychology, 3(2), 77–101. https://doi.org/10.1191/1478088706qp063oa
Christensen, A., & Heavey, C. L. (1990). Gender and social structure in the demand/withdraw pattern of marital conflict. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 59(1), 73–81. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.59.1.73
Cox, M. J., & Paley, B. (1997). Families as systems. Annual Review of Psychology, 48, 243–267. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.48.1.243
Cui, M., & Donnellan, M. B. (2009). Trajectories of conflict over raising adolescent children and marital satisfaction. Journal of Marriage and Family, 71(3), 478–494. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2009.00614.x
Cui, M., Donnellan, M. B., & Conger, R. D. (2007). Reciprocal influences between parents’ marital problems and adolescent internalizing and externalizing behavior. Developmental Psychology, 43(6), 1544–1552. https://doi.org/10.1037/0012-1649.43.6.1544
Davies, P. T., & Cummings, E. M. (1994). Marital conflict and child adjustment: An emotional security hypothesis. Psychological Bulletin, 116(3), 387–411. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.116.3.387
Doss, B. D., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., & Markman, H. J. (2009). The effect of the transition to parenthood on relationship quality: An eight-year prospective study. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 96(3), 601–619. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0013969
Feinberg, M. E. (2003). The internal structure and ecological context of coparenting: A framework for research and intervention. Parenting: Science and Practice, 3(2), 95–131. https://doi.org/10.1207/S15327922PAR0302_01
Fincham, F. D., & Beach, S. R. H. (2010). Marriage in the new millennium: A decade in review. Journal of Marriage and Family, 72(3), 630–649. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2010.00722.x
Gottman, J. M., & Levenson, R. W. (1992). Marital processes predictive of later dissolution: Behavior, physiology, and health. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 63(2), 221–233. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.63.2.221
Greenhaus, J. H., & Beutell, N. J. (1985). Sources of conflict between work and family roles. Academy of Management Review, 10(1), 76–88. https://doi.org/10.5465/amr.1985.4277352
Johnson, M. D., Lavner, J. A., Mund, M., Zemp, M., Stanley, S. M., Neyer, F. J., Impett, E. A., Rhoades, G. K., Bodenmann, G., Weidmann, R., Bühler, J. L., Burriss, R. P., Wünsche, J., & Grob, A. (2022). Within-couple associations between communication and relationship satisfaction over time. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 48(4), 534–549. https://doi.org/10.1177/01461672211016920
Karney, B. R., & Bradbury, T. N. (1995). The longitudinal course of marital quality and stability: A review of theory, methods, and research. Psychological Bulletin, 118(1), 3–34. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.118.1.3
Lincoln, Y. S., & Guba, E. G. (1985). Naturalistic inquiry. Sage.
Mikolajczak, M., & Roskam, I. (2018). A theoretical and clinical framework for parental burnout: The balance between risks and resources. Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 886. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00886
Mikolajczak, M., Gross, J. J., & Roskam, I. (2021). Beyond job burnout: Parental burnout! Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 25(5), 333–336. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2021.01.012
Mikolajczak, M., Roskam, I., & Gross, J. J. (2020). Parental burnout: Moving the focus from children to parents. New Directions for Child and Adolescent Development, 2020(174), 7–13. https://doi.org/10.1002/cad.20376
Minuchin, S. (1974). Families and family therapy. Harvard University Press.
Patton, M. Q. (2015). Qualitative research & evaluation methods: Integrating theory and practice (4th ed.). Sage.
Roskam, I., Brianda, M. E., & Mikolajczak, M. (2018). A step forward in the conceptualization and measurement of parental burnout: The Parental Burnout Assessment. Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 758. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00758
Roskam, I., Raes, M. E., & Mikolajczak, M. (2017). Exhausted parents: Development and preliminary validation of the Parental Burnout Inventory. Frontiers in Psychology, 8, 163. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00163
Yoo, H., Bartle-Haring, S., Day, R. D., & Gangamma, R. (2014). Couple communication, emotional and sexual intimacy, and relationship satisfaction. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 40(4), 275–293. https://doi.org/10.1080/0092623X.2012.751072