The Role of Unrealistic Expectations About Marriage in Predicting Marital Disillusionment, Chronic Conflict, and Reduced Emotional Intimacy
Keywords:
unrealistic expectations, marital disillusionment, chronic conflict, emotional intimacy, marriage, thematic analysisAbstract
Objective: This study aimed to explain how unrealistic expectations about marriage contribute to marital disillusionment, chronic conflict, and reduced emotional intimacy among married individuals living in Tehran.Methods and Materials: This qualitative study was conducted using thematic analysis. The participants were 22 married individuals residing in Tehran who were selected through purposive sampling with maximum variation. Inclusion criteria were being married for at least two years, living in Tehran, reporting a noticeable discrepancy between premarital expectations and marital reality, and willingness to participate in an in-depth interview. Data were collected using individual semi-structured interviews. Interviews lasted between 45 and 80 minutes and were audio-recorded after obtaining informed consent. Data collection continued until theoretical saturation was achieved. Saturation occurred at the twentieth interview, and two additional interviews were conducted to confirm the stability of the emerging categories. All interviews were transcribed verbatim and analyzed through open, axial, and selective coding with the assistance of NVivo software. Credibility was enhanced through member checking, peer review, prolonged engagement with the data, and maintaining an audit trail.Findings: Five main categories emerged from the analysis: “idealization of marriage and spouse,” “collapse of the romanticized image and emergence of disillusionment,” “transformation of unmet expectations into chronic conflict,” “emotional withdrawal and reduced emotional intimacy,” and “redefinition of expectations as a pathway to adjustment.” The findings indicated that expectations such as effortless understanding, continuous romance, complete partner change, permanent agreement, and the belief that marriage should compensate for all emotional deficits were associated with disappointment, blame, comparison, repeated conflict cycles, and emotional distancing.Conclusion: Unrealistic expectations about marriage function as a cognitive-emotional mechanism that can intensify marital disillusionment, chronic conflict, and the erosion of emotional intimacy. Premarital education, expectation clarification, cognitive restructuring of dysfunctional relationship beliefs, and couple-based interventions focused on emotional regulation and constructive conflict resolution may help prevent marital deterioration
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